Re: Really, grab my wrist!
It's great that you are thinking about such things. Perhaps, with time, you'll understand more deeply, so don't give up now. In the meantime, here are a couple words of advice.
First, a lot of the training that we do from a wrist grab is to help us feel the connection better. It's not always about the technique.
Second, and perhaps more meaningfully, your teacher can probably show you what would happen to Uke if he releases his grab. Usually, there is a reason Uke wants to hold on (because something worse might happen if Uke releases). Your teacher should be able to show you this if you ask. If he can't, it doesn't mean that it's not there.
Keep training. Aikido isn't always as clear as we'd like it to be. It reveals itself slowly.