A funny thing happened last night.
Last night was a busy class at the dojo with several newbies turning up. One was this hot blonde who smiled and waved at me across the room. Slightly taken aback and racking my brains trying to think how this woman knew me, I walked over and asked, sorry but do I know you? Yes, she replied, you're the father of one of my children...
Immediately my mind shot back to the only time that i had ever been unfaithful. Christ, I blurted out. Are you that stripper from my stag do who i made passionate love to across the pool table whilst your mate shoved a cucumber up my backside?
No she replied. I'm your sons English teacher.