Our justapostion is getting us nowhere. I offer you my respect and I absolutely understand that "opponent's power/attack is used to defeat him". I just don't like the connotations of control and power over others, as I see it serves no real purpose to the true purpose of Budo.
Well, Keith, the true purpose of budo, as Morihei explained it, is "to stop violence." And that means the violence in our own hearts, yes, but it also means the ability to stop a strong man from hurting the weak people in his path. Which means having the ability to control a strong man. That's the real meaning of budo, along with controlling ourselves.
Best to you.