Re: Is there another solution?
Because I am getting allot unfair criticism with my choice of words, and that of what some people assume of me. I am a women. Telling you this is against my better judgement spoiling the reason for telling my story. The unfair judgements, assumptions, and criticisms I was getting needs to be talked about. I am uncomfortable doing saying what I am about to. I don't think it has or should have anything to do with the story I told. But I need to response because so many things are wrong and need to be corrected.
Maybe, I tried to hard to conceal my gender of being a woman. Sounding more androgynous was what I wanted. Indicating no particular sex was a way I thought I could avoid sexism. I was wrong. I wanted to avoid being accused of sounding like "another emotionally over reacting female being emotional, because I felt unjustly victimize." Instead, I was accused by other women of being an insensitive sexist neanderthal male. My sexist fears came to be true. I did get unfairly judged with harsh insensitive sexist criticism, by those I thought wouldn't do it, but did. All based on metaphors, analogies, and colloquialisms to describe my situation and myself, I saw best.
My gender or that of the others involved in my situation should not matter. I don't have to be someone's "bitch;" I don't have to be dominated, feeling helpless, and lacking self-confidence. I don't like to refer to myself as a "victim," because of all the connotations our society has and places on female, when she is victimized. It is my choice to refer to myself "as not being someone's "bitch." A word I used in my situation to replace the phrase of being victimized. It doesn't matter if am male or female. The right of how I refer to myself in the way I wish is mine. It is not someone else's place to tell me how I should refer to myself or how I should feel regardless of their gender. I don't see how it is offensive when I was referring to no one else in anyway, but me.
I was hoping to avoid being seen in most common stereotypical view shared by both men and women of how we see women who are and portrayed as victims. I don't want to think of myself as a victim and all that it entails. To my best ability, I avoided that word using other words instead that didn't have the same negative connotations as a female victim does.
My actions now being seen under different circumstances will be re-evaluated in another light and criticized again. Mostly to relieve those who have some sense of violation after reading this. I realized the risk and vulnerability of making my story public. I never imagined it to be such a nightmare. Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever dreamed I would be writing this when I was telling my story.