In my situation, I was being insulted, and mocked, based on a sensei's arrogance and feeling he had to dominate me. My ego kicked in as it should as a safe guarding mechanism for self-protection. Without that ego doing its job, I would be nothing but a punching bag. I would have no self-esteem, or confidence without ego. I would be reduced to the status of a batter wife syndrome mentality. My self-esteem and confidence crushed, subordinate to Adam Henry sensei's abuse, i.e. his bitch. My ego needed to be in place to prevent that. I need to show him I wasn't his bitch.