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Old 01-12-2011, 02:46 PM   #13
Location: Massachusetts
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,181
Re: Is there another solution?

Dan Rubin wrote: View Post
Your friend witnessed it all, so why does he think your behavior was unjustified?
That's a mystery to me, as well. One possibility is that OP's friend simply didn't recognize the baiting behavior for what it was. Although it sure seems blatant to use after reading OP's version of events, even if it was that blatant, students who have only ever trained at one dojo may have drunk a lot of koolade, and bad koolade definitely affects the vision Soooo, if what OP's friend "saw" was just legitimate testing of OP's skills -- if OP's friend believes that his sensei's "tests" were legitimate and would be "passed" by a truly skilled practitioner -- then perhaps the friend came out with guns a-blazin' after the chokeout, and OP never had the chance to discuss matters.

Dan Rubin wrote: View Post
As for that host teacher's rude behavior, that sort of thing is noted by most students and costs him their respect.
Yes -- this is true even if it may not seem that way at the time.

It sure sounds like an awkward situation. I mean, once you're on the mat, what do you do? It's not like walking out of a movie, it's...I don't know, almost more like you got invited to a dinner party, and then your host proceeded to insult you. In that situation, what would you do? Most of us would probably do what OP did: try to stick it out...and, probably, eventually, respond in a way that might have some negative repercussions.

It seems to me that that's what OP's concern is, primarily: how others are responding to his actions. But before you can really address that, you have to know for sure what you think the correct action was. You won't get that here, and while our opinions may be helpful, I think they'll be more helpful if we explain why we feel that way...but that's an aside. When you know what you think you should have done, and why, then you'll be ready to have the conversation with the people who are miffed at you now.