No worries! I wasn't offended, and I hope I didn't come across as offensive! I gave a specific example in response to specific remarks (not the original post, which I didn't see much to disagree with) hoping to get more information on what you meant by relaxed holds, or at least to get some direct view on my example. You replied by suggesting I was being unrealistic and I then replied to that by suggesting I have a basis for understanding the realities of "street" attacks. We've still not discussed the concept of realistic or relaxed grabs any further because rather than address my specific questions, now you seem to be suggesting I'm being closed-minded.
I try to live by your last two sentences. I can't re-evaluate my views without direct feedback.
Sorry, the last comments from me were directed mainly at prior comments which were getting a bit way out there, and way off the mark. I do agree wholeheartedly with giving uke something to work with while training, but not trying to completely stop them.
I also find that gripping hard sometimes, allows both parties to get a good idea of where they are, and what they may need to polish to improve. This is something that does not work at all when the other person (sensei or student) has a good understanding of the techniques of Aikido. This comment was placed as a guideline to bettering oneself, and also your partner, during training. It is only my personal viewpoint, but it seems to have brought out some anger issues with some folks. Sorry about that.