People can lie about their past, and hide their behavior. But that has nothing to do with my original statement about adults in a consenting relationship. It does not change my belief that anyone who invests the kind of unequal power you are saying they give a sensei needs more than Aikido, they need therapy (and probably a 'no dating' period). Have I dated men who have been less than honest? Yes. When I find out, I drop them. Too fragile to deal with Aikido instructors who may not be honest? Then don't date them. Or anyone else who may lie, which is a pretty sizable group.
If you are too fragile an adult to date an Aikido instructor, because you give them this unreasonable power over you, then you are too fragile to be dating just about anyone---they do not have that power, you are giving it to them (forcing it on them?), and the fact that you think they are so powerful is just another indicator that it is not yet time to give up those 50 minute hours. With appologies to all past senseis, they are just not all that important or powerful, and someone who makes them so can just as easily ascribe power to they guy who pet-sits their dog, the woman who cuts their hair, or the guy who works three desks over at work.
I am not saying such a person is bad; and I was someone once who had no business dating until I took care of some things in my head. So I did myself (and the male half of the population) a favor, and sat out the game while tending to my injuries. But I am saying that adults who cannot enter into adult relationships like an adult should get therapy, and it is their responsibility to do so.
I've been in 'put up with it or leave' dojos. I left.