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Old 08-25-2002, 10:32 AM   #47
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In response to:

"People with boundry problems and children should not date instructors, or the other way around. I don't care when any of my instructors have dated students (I say, "good for them") since none of them have picked children or people who hand over power inappropriately."

Of course, senseis NEVER have boundary issues, and there have never been cases where the sensei used their power inappropriately, and if there's a boundary violation, the student is not only at fault but is not a true adult to boot. Yeah, right.

And of course, real adults NEVER have their boundaries violated, and if they do, it's because there's something wrong with them.

Some people take aikido precisely to work on their boundary issues, or to learn to deal with interpersonal conflict. Some take aikido because they have been in physically or emotionally abusive situations and wish to learn to defend themselves. That's the student part. And I agree, these types of students should probably not date their instructors.

Some students eventually become instructors. Becoming an instructor does not magically remove emotional baggage. Hopefully you've worked it out by then, but maybe not, right?

There is a chapter or two in Ellis Amdur's book "Dueling with O'Sensei" that I think addresses these issues with great clarity.
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