Rats. I just cannot get used to this reply feature in the middle. Missed a bunch of posts. Aerobics is serious for some, eye candy for others. I think Aikido senseis have no more power over me than an aerobics teacher would (if I would ever take aerobics- HA) which is why I'd consider either 'potential' for dating. But that is me. People with boundry problems and children should not date instructors, or the other way around. I don't care when any of my instructors have dated students (I say, "good for them") since none of them have picked children or people who hand over power inappropriately. I'm happy for them, as I am for students who date other students, and it holds out hope that I might even find someone who would share my love of Aikido someday...
Yes, I've seen folks leave a dojo over broken relationships/broken hearts, and it is sad, but I also have seen folks leave for many other reasons as well. Perhaps they continue on in a new dojo. Or not. But aren't they better for the time in the dojo while they were there, and we are better for the time they spent?
I had my heart broken by a FAIP once (that's for the AF group), we'd dated for the three months we were both TDY to San Antonio. When we broke up, he tried to show me the positives of the time we'd spent: "Hey, I stopped smoking" he said. Through the sniffles I said "but you don't smoke...and we met at the club, and you weren't smoking". He said "yeah, I'd just run out, and was going to get more when I met you, and you were complaining about the smoke...it was so stressful once we were dating that you'd smell it on me, or find a cigarette in my car, that I quit"
Probably even the most miserable dojo dating nightmare has something equally good that came of it, as most dating nightmares always do. And some turn into wonderful relationships, so I'm solidly on the 'as long as they are adults, good for them' side.