You know, it seems to me there's nothing wrong with OP or aikido, but they're probably not well suited to one another. In my experience, training has certain phases that test your commitment. If someone decides to stop training altogether because it didn't work out after six to nine months (or a year or two) at their first dojo, that may very well have been the best choice for them. Why spend another year or two before running out of motivation again?
Well, there is the opportunity to learn about yourself, but I bet OP's life will provide plenty of opportunities for that -- everyone's does.
I've kept up because I'm stubborn -- see, there's that self-awareness coming to the fore...
BTW, Mary, I really appreciated what you wrote -- for your insight, for sharing it, and for your compassion. I hope it was/is received with that in mind.