Thanks for explaining. I had a somewhat different picture in mine. I sometimes get treated that way, I frequently have to beg beginning ukes to hit me. And yes, I also hate being caught on the way to fall. It's dangerous for uke, and really weird to grab someone with a black or brown belt assuming they can't fall. Beginners have issues, that's a symptom.
As for insulting you or not doing what you ask and making you angry, I'll repeat myself. Appropriate ukemi is really difficult for some people. Getting upset with someone because something is difficult for them doesn't seem like it would help either of you.
Or you may just live in a culture and hang out where folks don't want to hit women.
I'd like to point out that this issue is a rare annoyance for me..I have a good relationship with all the regular students of the dojo and we respect each other...but the annoyance comes from newbie's and is annoying enough for me to get a chip on my shoulder.
It's the south.. the good ol' boy chivalry gets annoying after awhile.
There are some boys that don't know me,(they are new), but they are fully aware that I'm a higher rank than them, so it is a little rude to assume I need "their instruction", and assume that I need "their" help taking ukemi, or the mat will some how hurt me. They don't treat other men like that; other men who are lower ranked than me...so after a while I'll have to assume it is them "trying to be nice to the girl".
I only get mad if I'm injured due to some one ignoring my wishes to say, let go of me when I fall. I tend to repeat myself by saying "I don't need help to the mat, you are going to injure me." And if I am injured, I'm obviously irritated.
Don't expect special treatment. I train with male students, I train as hard as them. MY only point really is that altering your teaching or training style for a woman is really an insult more than it is a help. And if the newbies annoying me stick around long enough they learn this fact...then everything is cool.