The insult comes when they verbalize that they are not willing to strike a girl. A slow on point strike is what I think is reasonable for a new student, which is followed by a slow response by nage. I don't considering practicing slow to be "babying". I consider an unwillingness to make contact, or an unwillingness to allow your uke to fall down to be insulting to the uke. Often times it is easier to get hurt when the nage is trying to "let you down to the mat" refusing to let you fall.. Which increases frustration. I'll be honest, I get angry when some one hurts me by doing something I've asked them not to. I find it disrespectful to not honor your training partner's instructions. Regardless of rank, I listen to how an uke wishes to be thrown and how a nage wishes to be attacked.
Thanks for explaining. I had a somewhat different picture in mine. I sometimes get treated that way, I frequently have to beg beginning ukes to hit me. And yes, I also hate being caught on the way to fall. It's dangerous for uke, and really weird to grab someone with a black or brown belt assuming they can't fall. Beginners have issues, that's a symptom.
As for insulting you or not doing what you ask and making you angry, I'll repeat myself. Appropriate ukemi is really difficult for some people. Getting upset with someone because something is difficult for them doesn't seem like it would help either of you.
Or you may just live in a culture and hang out where folks don't want to hit women.