Interesting problem for beginners. Attack honestly and get wiped out for "challenging" and being resistant, most folks learn to avoid this style quickly. Give the wimpy attacks that seem to be expected and get an emotional reaction from someone demonstrating their rank. Giving the desired attack, in my experience, at an aikido dojo is much harder than doing the waza. I don't see how beginners can be expected to do it.
The insult comes when they verbalize that they are not willing to strike a girl. A slow on point strike is what I think is reasonable for a new student, which is followed by a slow response by nage. I don't considering practicing slow to be "babying". I consider an unwillingness to make contact, or an unwillingness to allow your uke to fall down to be insulting to the uke. Often times it is easier to get hurt when the nage is trying to "let you down to the mat" refusing to let you fall.. Which increases frustration. I'll be honest, I get angry when some one hurts me by doing something I've asked them not to. I find it disrespectful to not honor your training partner's instructions. Regardless of rank, I listen to how an uke wishes to be thrown and how a nage wishes to be attacked.