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Old 07-23-2010, 09:33 PM   #15
DH
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 3,394
United_States
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Re: I think I'm feeling burnout or worse. I am seriously considering walking away.

Mr Patterson.
You should collect yourself, review and coalesce your thoughts into talking points and then perhaps write a letter to your teacher or hand it to him sealed.
Tell him you will not engage him until ...he... has had time to reflect on his answers. When the time comes meet in a public place, over lunch or dinner and discuss the issues. I can only tell you that this opens up many possibilities to you:
You will increase the chances of getting the most out of the both of you.
You will have increased the chances that it gave the teacher time to ask others what they think, ask his significant other, (note* it matters not who among them can see. IT is just that you are giving so many people opportunities for growth; maybe in stepping up now or in later years looking back and seeing their own culpability. Maybe six years down the line they will look back and say "Boy this is just what Travis was saying and I blew him off!!" and it comes back to reinforce an even stronger position then.

The first voice
Very few times are we the only one who sees something. I know it can feel that way at first, but trust me on this, many people see but they back away from confrontation till someone else goes first. Sure it takes courage to be the first. But rushing in pell mell and just thinking of you rarely is sufficient. Be the better man.

What if...he hears you and apologizes
What if...he doesn't, but ten years from now a group of men see you or reach out to you and thank you for what you said and did?
In either case the exchange opens up the both of you to learning something about yourselves and each other.

If he pulls the "I am the sensei crap" and shuts you down. then just sit back quietly and look him in the eye.. Tell him "This is no longer a conversation I'll talk...you listen." and state your case.
At the end of the day. DO NOT TOLLERATE ABUSE OR POOR JUDGMENT. It is unacceptable.

Here's a tip from me
'In the absence of a good leader...lead." Sometimes that means being the first and only voice (soon to be followed by others). Sometimes that means facing outragous opposition, Sometimes it ends very well with people learning and coming together, and sometimes.........sometimes it just means abandoning ship!!

Chiba was a world class abuser, I had my own run in with him which ended up with him on his back. Lets, also remember that he ended up apologizing to all of his students for being an abuser. I teach at a dojo that is under Chiba and the teacher there (retired spec ops) is no lightwieght by any ones standards, and is a perfect.... gentleman on and off the mat. Maybe someone allowed Chiba an opportunity for growth.
From some of the recent quotes I am hearing, it sounds like it is coming from a changed man.
Hey...I hated the guy, but people actually do change. Someone helpd the guy out didn't they.

Look long my friend
Think long.
Very few times is it just about you. You can be helping others who are going to step up behind you. You can help those above you. Do not allow them the arrogance (presumed or otherwise) of a position to speak for an entire art. There are a lot of good people out there working it.
Cheers
Dan

Last edited by DH : 07-23-2010 at 09:44 PM.
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