Good evening professor and thanks for your continued responses to my comments today.
I think the wording and translation was overwrought rather than slapdash. Many people were asked to check the main text but the line in which the error occurs was added last-minute. On the whole, despite that relatively minor glitch, I think it is a fantastic symbol of the different Shihan working together and publicly acknowledging the founder’s time in Iwama.
I have not visited Iwama recently, so have yet to see the statue and the translation, but all the other cases I have encountered like this were of 'translation-by-committee', with no native-speakers actually involved as members. Actually, your comment that 'many people were asked to check the main text' is quite telling. Why were so many checks necessary, when the judgments and intuitions of one native speaker would have been quite enough?
I know the person who did the main translation and he also did his own native checks. When I became involved, the translation had already been changed, as I found out from the translator, who was quite upset when he found out that his translation had been changed and that I was involved. Both his translation skills and his good faith had been called into question.
Of course, this is no big deal and does not really affect the main thrust of this thread--other than highlighting the major problems involved of making 'official' translations from Japanese of texts like O Sensei's discourses.