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Old 06-13-2010, 12:43 PM   #36
Dojo: Baltimore Aikido
Location: Baltimore, MD
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 7
Testing and Nerves, Continued

I'm glad her test went well. Isn't that how it generally goes--we beginners get super nervous before, and somehow we end up doing well?

I'm testing for 5th kyu in two weeks, and part of me wants to get it over with so I won't have a buildup of anxiety. I seem to get really nervous for practice tests, and I go through a period of self-critiques that will mess with my head if I'm not careful. Last week I had a surprise practice test after class, where my confidence had been shaken by my inability to affect uke's center for kotegaishi. (It's a long story, but uke was new, and I'm still very inexperienced with dealing with that kind of issue.) I carried that into the practice test. Despite having a different uke, I had to work hard to push that mental block aside, and it showed. Other than that, I was told I did well. I'm doing mindfulness exercises and meditation when I'm not on the mat to cultivate the ability to be and act in the present and not dwell on past mistakes.

"I am different than yesterday's me."
--Sakamoto Ryoma
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