After 18 years, and 9 months of Aikido, I have come to believe there is no purpose. I am not saying that in a Zen sort of way. I am being flat out blunt and straight forward. There is no purpose. Was there a purpose yes, and some people still hang to those eves. I was one of them for a long time. Perched on the wise old man's scribed out enlightenment paraphrased in his own voices, thrilled me. I tried to wring out each drop of possible wisdom like a wet towel. I anxiously with batted breath waited for the miracles to happen that would direct me in my life.
I worked hard at techniques to master each and every principle.
I was a chump. I didn't realize it until 18 years later. There is no magic, there is no wisdom to apply to my life. Why, because I am not Japanese and Aikido is. Why, because times have changed, people and society has changed. Aikido is archaic, sadly.
Please forgive me for my bluntness.
I am genuinely sorry that you studied "Chump Aikido." I do not mean that as an insult but as a reflection of what YOU created. Aikido is a martial art, like a lot of other martial arts out there. What YOU make of YOUR STUDY of a particular art is ultimately YOUR responsibility.
I came to Aikido searching for somethings and discovered many more things along the way. I am still making discoveries all of the time. My particular prism of reality is such that I realize that most people will never have to be confronted with the necessity of utilizing martial arts training in order to survive an ordeal. My prism of reality has changed a great deal. I came into Aikido as a person ready for a fight (many years of martial arts and fighting sports) and not surprisingly, I would find that with which I was trying to be ready for. I was honest enough to know that this was not who I wanted to be and realized the growing danger of bad consequences of continuing on that particular path.
I am discovering that the true beauty of this martial art is in how I have used it to change my prism of reality while at the same time, becoming more capable than ever before to be able to survive a physical attack. Learning about the true nature of connection "Ai" starts with developing a deeper, more compassionate connection with yourself. Learning which muscles are tense, or where my muscles are relaxed helps me to better understand myself and how I respond to the world around me. Learning how to emulate positive Ki in my daily interactions allows me to better understand myself and connect easier and deeper to those around me. I am developing a sensitivity at an energy level that I would have discounted as nonsense ten years ago. Learning to connect positively to those around me is making my life better and safer. I am just beginning to understand the profound wisdom that O'Sensei shared with his students.
I am happy to say that I am continuing to find new and deeper, positive purposes of Aikido in my life. These purposes are continuing to be reflected in waza and in more and more areas of my life. I have no problem being attacked by a wrestler, karateka,... who seek to find out if what I do works. That is not a focus of my training or a focus in my teachings. My focus is sharing this very powerful transformational art with people in my life. So far, so good...
If you find no purpose in YOUR Aikido then ultimately that is your responsibility to address. It is important that you do find genuine and meaningful purpose in your life through whatever venue you discover. Don't blame an art, take responsibility for where you are on what ever path you choose. Blaming a path only serves to obscure the powerful and important lessons that you can learn when you decide it is time to change life paths.
Good Luck on finding a more meaningful path!