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Old 05-04-2010, 06:29 AM   #78
Location: Massachusetts
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,052
Re: Romantic Feelings for a Girl at the Dojo

I think a good guideline to use here is the old rule, "Don't make your romantic feelings someone else's problem." Never heard that one? It's a great one. If you can talk to this woman -- I assume she is a grown woman, and not a girl, which would imply that she's underage and that you shouldn't be chatting her up under any circumstances -- and express an interest in possibly dating, without putting any pressure on her, being completely open to hearing, "Thanks, I'd rather not," and being completely willing and able to drop the matter and continue training without making the situation uncomfortable for her, then I don't think there's anything wrong with it. What is absolutely unacceptable, in the dojo or the workplace or anywhere else, is putting someone in a situation where your feelings for them lead to behavior that makes them uncomfortable. If you have any doubts about your ability to accept rejection gracefully, better to not go there.
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