Re: Romantic Feelings for a Girl at the Dojo
It is my understanding that we should not limit individual liberties and rights of others in every corner of our lives. We have enough rules and regulations of how to behave already from personal intercourse and relationships at home, socially, and at work. We are almost constantly told or reminded of what we can and can't do by others.
If you in a high school, college, or other type of school are you told you can't date classmates the first day of class? That you can't like someone, or have become attracted to a classmate?
Safe to say, most Aikido classes charge for lessons, if your paying to be taught. You'er not paying to have someone restrict you from dating. Or control your personal or social life.
Well, it may be asked, what if something goes wrong. It brings problems into the dojo. My answer is that is one of countless problems brought into the dojo, More likely, what if two people just don't like each other, hate each other. Or you have one student who doesn't have the greatest personality or social skill and by the nature of that causes problems. These relationship issues occur far more frequently and are more disruptive and problematic than dating.
Also, if you pay for a class, the sensei relinquishes the idea that there are no boundaries and limits to his or her control or power. I have heard senseis say and imply they have absolute power and control in there dojos. They make the rules and those rules must and will be followed. Well, if you'er a dictator of country, and people have no choice, no freedom, no liberties. But, a dojo isn't a country, it is a class where you pay for lesson, and that gives you rights and freedom such as living your own life as you choose. No matter what agreement or arrangement is made.
As much as we like to think we should have, and need to have control over people's lives to keep things in "harmony," we have to recognize if we are going too far. IMO the idea of having so much control over who can and can't date is a dangerous thing.