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Old 03-26-2010, 08:12 AM   #20
lbb
Location: Massachusetts
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,816
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Re: How to Handle Know It All Student?

I think it's pretty normal to be annoyed by criticism coming from what we perceive as an unqualified source...the old saying about people throwing stones from glass houses comes to mind. On the other hand...it's gonna happen. The fact that this is a perennial question on aikiweb (how to deal with a know-it-all) suggests that it's a pretty common experience. It seems like there are a couple of basic approaches: 1)get them to stop doing it, or 2)change how we respond to it. 1) might work, but on the other hand, the persistence of this phenomenon would seem to indicate that some people are pretty stubbornly hard-wired to do this. Changing them is going to be an uphill battle at best. That being the case, incorporating a little 2) as well seems like a good strategy. It can be incredibly tiresome, trying to work with a know-it-all partner and make it into a good training experience...I dunno, maybe it starts with frankly acknowledging that you are annoyed, and then have a little internal dialogue, which might involve asking yourself questions like, "Why am I annoyed by this behavior?" "Why is this person doing this?" "What does he/she want from me (or from this encounter)?" "Is there a reason why I shouldn't give it to him/her?" My instinctive response to situations like that is to think, very dismissively, "This person is being a tool!" and that's the end of it...but on the rare occasions when I can step back and ask myself some of these questions, I often come to the conclusion that it ain't no big deal. Am I dealing with someone who wants to feel superior to me? Okay...let 'em feel so. I can't control how they feel, and struggling against it is only going to make things worse.

Here's a brief clip from a talk by Pema Chodron where she makes some comments about dealing with people or situations that annoy you...very humorous and also very helpful.

Last edited by lbb : 03-26-2010 at 08:15 AM.
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