Thanks, everyone, for your replies.
I have branded as a "Jammer". I was wondering whether I fit the profile of one. So far, I am safe.
I tend to agree with Dan. Aiki is about seeking the path of least resistance (changing directions) rather than going against the resistance. I get irritated by nage who jerks or bounces me around instead of doing a free flowing technique on me. To avoid injury, the jerking and bouncing cause me to stiffen up and assume a defensive stance. Perhaps this is jamming as far as they are concerned.
Nope rest assured that you are not a jammer, from what you say you are being unilaterally awkward and deserve every bit of the pounding you are getting and in my personal opinion you should probably get a good deal more.
You take the gloves off by putting some resistance without cheeking with your partner may be he trying to work on his movement or flow and the last thing he needs a numb-nuts resisting.
I am all for resistance training but there is a place and a time and it need to be bilateral and agreed upon from the onset.
You would laugh if I said that I am going full on all the time because I want to give my partner a good ukemi practice and if I was wondering why people call me a beast.
Well resisting without telling is exactly the same.