I'd rather figure out how to control myself when people piss me off.
For me it becomes a lot easier to de-escalate when I make it a primary goal. Sure, it's annoying, but you can let it go through the conscious choice to do so. The more you practice letting go of animosity, the easier it becomes. I try to remind myself of the "big picture: in a world where we have this http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/...0&id=892935060
my momentary problems usually seem pretty small-minded.
How normal is this? How do other people work through it? I don't think of myself as being otherwise vindictive or violent, and have never physically confronted someone before these on-the-mat scenarios, which are kind of like fights but not really. In the rest of my life I think of myself as being fairly easy going--I am not afraid of confrontation, but am certainly not one to pick a fight.
I grew up with a motto telling me that to really beat someone you have to beat them at their own game. It's not bad advice really, but it also means I tend to fight fire with fire and there are times where that just leaves everyone a little burned. I cope by making it my mission to get along with folks and by calming my breath (long slow deep breaths). Remember, when you find situations like that, they are opportunities to make progress so perhaps that's a kind of silver lining to look toward...Masakatsu Agatsu. Focusing on the positive has always been a very powerful tool for me; when I am able to focus on something positive I find it keeps my actions a little more positive too.
I disagree with the idea that all emotions are like impurity. I believe when I'm at my best I am emotional: joyful and loving. For me that is the key to having an indominable spirit.