But on more than one occasion, I have been scolded for "just giving it" to a someone. I understand their frustrations, because I want my technique to work too, and if someone was just making it easy for me instead of challenging me I would be irritated as well. But I am a very big, very strong guy and in general I can give most people a hard time.
Speaking as a big guy myself..
If someone scolds you for "giving it to them" then you should make a personal assessment on whether your use of your own force was appropriate to the physical level and/or skill of your partner.
If you are not comfortable with giving them more then that is your right, and indeed, as the stronger person.. it is your responsibility to insure (with your own prudence) their safety. Your judgement is more important than their preference, provided you err on the side of caution and genuine care.
I don't do Aikido so I may not understand the finer points of Aikidoka dojo etiquette, but my position has always been that my wish to insure my training partner's safety always trumps their ego or motivation to escalate.
It is your right and responsibility to "preserve the hobbits"
That's what the good giants do on Middle-Earth.