Re: Working with too easy an uke
Both of you have my sympathy.
It is quite normal that an attack that is considered correct at one dojo is found to be completely useless in another - and within the context of each dojo, both are right. Changing uke behaviour isn't done over night - and ideals vary a lot. Resistance/compliance is only one of the factors that vary.
If what you ask of her would give her scolding from her previous instructor, it might take time to mentally accept this new way of doing things! Of course, it is the people in your dojo who know how things should be done in this very place. In the long run, of course, she will adapt - or leave. Still, two people on the tatami have to work with what they are, not what they should be.
When you give her the attack that you would like her to give you, she might actually find that you make her practise difficult. Maybe she too finds it hard to learn when paired up with you - and then, maybe, with major parts of the dojo population.
When you are uke and she does the technique, have you tried softening up yourself? Not that you have to buy her way as the right one, but you could offer her something in between for a while. If you offer her this, maybe she will be more willing to try to offer you what you want. It's not about being right or wrong, but about offering a possible meeting point.
But of course, I'm just guessing.