As a beginner, you have no idea what you are talking about.For the moment you can only say : 'Yes, sensei!'. All your intellectual concepts are wrong. I strongly suggest go back to the dojo and train harder. 3 times a day. 20 years. Then come back here and tell us your thoughts on Aikido.
Don't take offence when you read it.
Aikido taught me to be honest.
IMO, this "shut up and train" attitude is responsible for a lot of the ills that plague modern Aikido. You have a fairly sizeable portion of the "senior" generation of Aikidoka with wrecked bodies and mediocre technique despite decades of dedicated study because, in part, they weren't encouraged to ask the right questions.