And if you try to attack with speed and power they think you are aggressive and nobody want to practice with you anymore.
Others become very frustrated and are trying to punish you with very painful techniques. What a life.....
There's got to be a way to ramp up the intensity of attacks without turning the whole thing into a fight or ego game on the mat.
I train with people who will hit me hard, fast, and accurately. With most of these guys and girls, there is just no doubt or question in my mind that they are giving me a high level of energy in the attack because they want to pull me up and make me better. The attack is something they are giving me. If I screw up and take the hit, I go "Thank you!" And there's usually some concern in my partner's face, you know, just a simple "Are you okay?"
Other people....it's like they really just want to hit you hard so that you don't try to partner up with them again. The attack is often followed up by resistant ukemi if you get it right, or cold disregard or even satisfaction if they connect. I don't particularly like the kind of dynamic that develops from this kind of interaction on the mat, particularly if it's one of my sempai doing it.
Anyway, my point is, there's a difference between everybody learning to function at the highest level of intensity that can be sustained between them and the partner they are working with at the moment, and everybody just trying to get in there and hurt each other.