As a beginner, you have no idea what you are talking about.For the moment you can only say : 'Yes, sensei!'. All your intellectual concepts are wrong.
I strongly suggest go back to the dojo and train harder. 3 times a day. 20 years. Then come back here and tell us your thoughts on Aikido.
Don't take offence when you read it.
Aikido taught me to be honest.
I am very curious, may i ask 'What are your thoughts on Aikido'? Is there anything specific that you could suggest to Phil given your experience? At what point do you suggest to start trusting your own 'intellectual concepts' and stop suspending your disbelief?
Do you not think a 20 year investment just to find out if its something you want to know or do is a lot to ask for? (My 2 cents)
I'm not sure. ... I may be misreading this. Just trying to be honest.