Maarten De Queecker
Try practicing aikido with non-martial artists. I've done it at a demo for a school. Believe me, you will hurt them, whether you want it or not, because they don't know the right path to take in order to receive a technique painlessly. On the contrary, they will try to stay away from that path as much as possible, since the normal human reflex to pain is to resist.
I work on a regular base as an instuctor with non-martial artists.
The seminars don't show "normal" self-defense techniques but techniques to de-escalate a physical conflict if possible without hurting the aggressor.
The seminars are meant for staff members who work with mentally disabled persons or persons with psychiatrical disorders or aggressive teenagers ...
The attacks we have to deal with are not very "competent" but very strong and wild. And the people are often heavy.
And In every seminar there is at least one Person who needs to test whether what I teach really works.
I have never hurt anyone.
... since the normal human reflex to pain is to resist.
So if I know that pain causes resistance, why should I use it as a part of technique?
Although I expect you won't like or won't take it serious here is a short clip of Endo about nikyo ...