Re: The Martial Art of Difficult Conversations
I used to teach my trainees and subordinate officers to treat every human being as well as he would allow you to, as well as treating people with courtesy, dignity and respect. That meant asking for compliance when appropriate and using appropriate force when necessary. This was usually translated into the "ATM Method of Field Contacts" - Ask, Tell, Make.
Something that worked particularly well for me at the scenes of the yelling disagreements was "The Quiet Man" model. The louder they got, the quieter I would speak to them, sometimes dropping my voice to almost a whisper. Often they would stop the loud voices to see what I was saying. It didn't always work of course, but it worked so frequently that I kept it close at hand in my toolbox.
It always struck me as senseless to ramp up an event unnecessarily. My uniforms cost $9.00 to clean, the shirts cost me $ 80.00 and the trousers were over $ 100.00. Why roll around when I didn't have to?
Yes the article that Kevin referred us to was sophomoric, but it had grains of good common sense to consider.