Guess that since I posed the question, I'll have to put in my two cents first
I would love to see uniformity among the different organizations (even within) about this. In some dojos, women wear hakama as soon as they step on the mat. I know this has to do with modesty issues, but it puts women at a disadvantage. I've seen situations where women are just assumed to be beginners and the junior man starts "teaching" the woman how to do aikido. Or otherwise, looking around to see the color of her belt. IMHO it just puts women into another class.
Another instance can be that a newer person is wearing a hakama and you just expect them to be able to take ukemi (okay, that would be my fault for not being a bit more sensitive), and train a bit too vigorously, and maybe hurt them (and that would be awful).
Okay everybody, write away