My take was that you were talking about having a moral or aesthetic "volume control", or in broader terms, letting surroundings in general affect execution. You used kiai as an example. My response was that you have to "let it go". Likewise, I used kiai as an example. Did I miss the point?
Control implies I knew what I was doing. I don't think I know what I was doing and attribute that to being conditioned (in the sense of operant conditioning, etc but also more general). Now that I see the conditioning I have something to breakdown and rectify.
I was using my kiai as an example but was more concerned about the other types of conditioning that I operate under but am similar unaware and how to get to work on breaking that down too.
I would also include along with the behavioural type conditioning physical conditioning as well. Consider how many time ones mother admonishes "elbows off of the table" and how while sitting in a tense situation in which weapons are likely present just how suspicious it is to have ones hands in thier lap hidden from view instead of up on the table, elbows and all, in plain view. Is that physical, now I'm confused. Not really relevant - just how many other 'habits' we have that exist for no particular reason besdies the fact that they were drilled into us from a very early age?
"let it go" is right on point.
I'm contemplating just how many 'its' there are to let go of ...