without getting judgemental , try this:
next time you're working with her and you're doubting the attack, just stand still and let her do her thing. It'll be pretty obvious that the attack is non existent. then ask her to please hit you
. If the strikes are falling short, if she's pulling the punch, if the grab is so soft and useless it'll make the situation pretty clear.
Now, don't mind if you get bonked or kicked, or pushed over; that's what you're trying to get done.
don't sweat it. she may eventually come around, and in the meanwhile you're blessed with a majority of intense partners.
Sometimes people are a bit hesitant especially if their falling skills are not yet confident.