Sheesh, we need more some practical training suggestions -- or -- equipment reviews.
The futon: a lousy weapon, I can't even pick it up, in OR out of the box.
The lamp: nice heft, good balance - recommend removing flimsy electric cord as it will tangle around your ankle and hakama - but ultimately disappointing as it shattered on uke's head.
Side table: very very good weight and heft for doing two handed cuts and basic kata. The four legs give it a lot of flexibility both for changing direction of attack and also striking multiple attackers at once.
The meatballs: excellent atemi lobbed randomly at uke.