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Old 07-31-2009, 05:36 PM   #66
BlueDevilfish
Dojo: World Aikido Yoga - Melbourne
Location: Victoria
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 19
Australia
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Re: Romantic Feelings for a Girl at the Dojo

Further to my previous post I note that you say you are quite shy. I don't want to be seen to be playing the "amateur psychologist" based on brief info you have posted in a forum, but maybe I can just make some general comments about shyness that may be of interest.

The interesting thing about the word 'shy' is that it really means 'scared'. That is, scared of other peoples rejection. The reason a shy person doesn't speak up and voice an opinion in a group situation is that they are 'scared' that they will 'say the wrong thing' or 'say something silly' and that others will therefore think poorly of them. In effect, it involves placing TOO MUCH importance on what other peoples opinions are of you.

In a romantic situation shyness in effect means fear of rejection if you make your feelings know to the person you are interested in.

The good thing is that it is possible to easily overcome this problem!

There is a very well vaildated form of psychology called Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) which is used effectively by psychologists all over the world. One good point about REBT is that the principles are easy to understand and many people can get great benefit just by reading books/articles and having a go at the concepts.

Here are a couple of links that may be helpful:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOfabrp9QAE
http://rebtnetwork.org/ask/jan06.html

If you type "REBT shyness" into Google you will come up with heaps of links.

My apologies if none of this is applicable to your situation.
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