Re: Using less force on a smaller person w/o being patronizing
Simply ask if you are hurting her/ throwing her too hard. You don't want to slam her. If she is new, chances are her ukemi and slaps aren't that great yet. On the other hand, if she seems to be doing okay with a certain fall, speed it up a tad. Don't baby her (as mentioned above it doesn't help her), but don't slam her either because she isn't ready for it.
Also, watch her face. If she is making faces when she lands, then it just may be hurting her.