Using less force on a smaller person w/o being patronizing
I've been training in Yoseikan budo for 4 months, and this is a bit of an awkward issue for me.
There is woman in the class, ~5 ft tall, and 100 (more or less?) pounds - very light. She has just started training.
My issue - here, and in general - is using just the right amount of force. Specifically, I wonder if I'm using too little force - to the point where she feels insulted. I don't want to use too much force, either, and seem inconsiderate.
Rationally, this seems to me like something that comes with experience (knowing how much force to use with a given partner). I still worry about it though, because I don't want her to feel like I'm judging her strength due to gender (if I am using too little force).
I've always been a bit awkward in social situations, and I can't think of a way of simply asking her about it that doesn't itself seem sexist.
I'm not particularly strong myself, and am 5'11", 145 lbs.
Any suggestions, or polite ways to ask her?