I see your point about this guy you were talking about. He sounded like someone with an attitude.
I think the issue here is that I was objecting to is that of those who go easy on women for the sake of them just being women. And by going easy, I mean not giving a decent committed attack. If I can pull my hand out of a grip, it is not committed. If the punch is to thin air, it is not committed.
I appropriately assert myself when I find myself in these situations, it is easily resolved by simple communication. Such as "hey, use a firm grip." or "hey, make sure you have proper ma'ai." Then things will not result in what you described.
Also, since there are enough women who are addressing the situation and have found themselves to be in this situation, then perhaps we are not just complaining or having an attitude. We might actually have something constructive to say. Something to improve aikido and relations between the sexes.
Now, if someone comes across with a major attitude, then that's another story. I have had that situation happen before. And that is in another thread.
Also I think a side issue as to why guys go easy is perhaps is that they are learning to not muscle their techniques. As a woman, I can't get away with muscling a man who is significantly stronger than me. But many men are stronger than many women and they can get away with muscling, thereby, doing the technique wrong. In this situation, I have responsibility to tell the guy he is muscling rather than doing proper technique.