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Old 03-14-2009, 01:58 PM   #43
Joe McParland
 
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Dojo: Sword Mountain Aikido & Zen
Location: Baltimore, MD
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 309
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Re: Romantic Feelings for a Girl at the Dojo

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Anonymous User wrote: View Post
Rambo, call me a 12 year old girl if you want. Judging someone because of a psychological issue they face in my opinion is on the same level as making fun of someone because they are in a wheel chair.
It's a paradox that constant, insecure, overpowering desire often works as a repellent to what you want.

There's no question that your want is itself real, but the more you dwell on it, the greater the odds that you're want is for a fantasy image of her that you've created rather than the true her. What you secretly harbor will inevitably bleed into your other words and actions. Perceived from the other side, you may seem sweet and insecure to some, and perhaps quite creepy or stalkerish to others.

Aikido is one path toward seeing things as they are. That happens in no small part by virtue of your full presence in what you're doing---i.e., Aikido. If you're distracted from the actual Aikido by some dreamy image you've conjured between your ears, you have failed.

If you don't currently have what it takes to blow past the mental obstacles and talk to the girl, then just accept that as a loss for today and get back to the Aikido.

You'll see how things sort themselves out, one way or another in time.

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