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Old 03-04-2009, 11:38 AM   #28
C. David Henderson
Location: Santa Fe New Mexico
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 607
United_States
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Re: Master/slave relationship and Instructor with ego

sad_robert,

It seems like you are mad at this guy, and want to hear other people support you.

When you hear those who appear to accept your perceptions at face value and suggest "leave," or "confront the guy," you are prepared to listen.

When you hear other messages, like "don't try to change/control other people," or "be prepared to be uncomfortable, its part of the process," you "double down" with a general swipe; questioning a view that instructors, plural, are "above reproach, that their egos are too large to concede that there is room for improvement."

Thing is, nobody actually said that that I can tell.

I also don't really know what behavior lies behind the labels "condescending" or "ridiculing," how often people at this otherwise nice dojo "bark" at you, or the context as those people might report it.

I do suspect that if you really want to learn a martial art or another difficult skill that involves social interaction, like a lot of other people, you'll have to deal with some unpleasant feelings the experience will bring up for you. Not all of those are necessarily part of a constructive process -- some are just life, in the raw, as you find it.
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