hi, tried to reply earlier, but this machine hates me.
first, Magma, whoever you are, i like how you think. good question about how women train with women. i--at least--train the same as with men. i think it cannot be said enough that how a partner falls depends on the strength and sincerity of their attack. if my uke does a good honest attack, male or female, big or small, they fall about the same. probably because i am too small to muscle anyone above say 10 years old. as for bruises, i think we've covered that it seems not to be the women who are bothered by them, so forget that worry. the only time i get a lot of them anyway is when the technique is done INCORRECTLY, ie, lots of muscle making up for poor posture, footwork, balance/grounding, etc, but i am afterall a beginner so i guess i should not criticise....so if any of you are seeing a lot of bruises or 40 foot lofts on your ukes, you may want to take a good look at how you are doing things. i don't get bruised from my falls, from strong grips, or the occasional atemi connection. but for me to correctly do the technique, i need an honest attack. to give less is selfish and wastes both of our time on the mat. i do not think the solution is for women to throw men harder---again, this is just muscle. uhmm, i think that is what we are NOT supposed to rely on. if by harder you mean faster, that's a different issue, but i usually assume a partner who throws slowly either does not know i can take the ukemi (so i tell them i can) or is themselves frightened by the fall (i ask about that when i am nage next). so Erika, next time just smile nicely and ask if that guy refusing to throw you is afraid of the fall himself. and sometimes nage is just going slowly because he/she is trying to figure out the technique. i think the solution is simple: treat your partner just as you would want them to treat you. not as you think you would want them to treat you if you were them. just as you---right now--want to be treated. which means if they ask you to go slower/faster/harder/ easier, well, try to do so (the only exception being attacking harder or faster than you can take ukemi). uke's role is to help nage train, which includes this kind of adaptation (to me, at least). if i'm uke and nage doesn't want to throw me as quickly as i can fall, that's his/her option...but i'd hate to see my male colleagues miss out on the opportunity to throw someone who likes to fall just because i'm female. the only exception i'd make to that is when a senior student, fearing 'hurting' me, doesn't put enough into the technique for me to feel it; now that is stealing my chance at learning.