Re: How to Say No
I see that a few people have talked about that they are worried how the culture of the dojo may not be very healthy. I also want to bring up my concerns about this.
The distinction between on the mat and off the mat behavior at your dojo seems very artificial. For better or worse, things that happen during life affect aikdio training, and things that happen during training affect the rest of life. Usually, hopefully, the things are for better.
You say that you are sensing tension from other people about the rules. This does not sound like a very fun place to be. I understand that you move a lot, and you do not feel comfortable shopping around for another dojo because you do not think you will be in the area for a long time.
If you think that you can get the person to stop asking you that's great, but it sounds like you have tried this and it has not worked.
But, is there another dojo where you might be more comfortable that is near where you live?
You of course must make your own decision on what is best. The dojo where I train is very small but there is a lot of trust there. Even though I have posted in the aononymous forum about not wanting to bring up an issue I have to my sensei, the reason I do not want to bring it up has to do with me, not him. I can be sensitive and nervous sometimes and I am embarrassed to bring up my situation. If I did bring it up I know it would not be a problem for him.
If I was in a place where I felt uncomfortable to even bring up a problem or question, I would not be training there anymore. There is a difference between working through problems and ignoring problems.
I hope that makes sense.