Thread: dojo frat boys
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Old 01-20-2009, 10:42 PM   #36
Guilty Spark
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Location: Flordia
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 300
Re: dojo frat boys

Mark Mueller wrote: View Post
I gotta admit I am jut amazed at how everyone is willing to put a label on these "dojo frat boys" without knowing the other side of the story.
I was going to ask the very same thing.
To get this in perspective for me. An Aikido student of 7 months is upset that a dozen black belts won't go out of their way to train with them or invite them to parties?

Somewhat of the same caliber, when I first joined the army there was a little group in the mess. Soldiers who have been in a long time, have overseas experience under their belts, know a lot about their job and are well respected by both new recruits AND higher ranking people. I wanted desperately to be a part of them, go drinking with them, be included by them- as did everyone else. They really didn't give us the time of day, they were doing their own thing. Pissed me off, why the hell wouldn't they interact with us.

Fast forward 12 years later. I'm in the group that has been overseas 3 or 4 times, have the cool courses, know who's who in the zoo, can walk by the commanding officer (ie sensi) and say Hey how the hell are you sir? when other troops are too nervous or intimidated to say hello.
Same thing happens, 18 year olds trying to strike up conversations about stuff they haven't experienced yet, trying to be included in our group.
It doesn't work like that. You gotta put your time in. I'll be polite and respectful but I'm 30, I just don't want to go to parties with 18 year olds, I don't have much in the way of conversation with them either (read we don't have that much in common). If I have to teach them or lead them I will no problem but do I consider them "peers"?Not really, not yet.

The black belts mentioned should make time for the new students and teach them, instruct them and not ignore them but the truth is their not on the same level, they don't have the same experience's. They have been through a lot together, probably training withone another their whole MA career. In a few years you'll be in the same spot (or close) and you'll probably have a young white belt complaining that you and your group won't give them the respect they deserve

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