Thread: Bullying
View Single Post
Old 01-20-2009, 08:24 AM   #21
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 950
Re: Bullying

I think too that many adults that come upon a situation of bullying will passively sides in some way with the bully if the behavior is on or not too much over the line, like at the verbal stage or at minimal physical contact. Approval by the adult of the bullies behavior and blame on the victim is done in a host of different passive ways. The adult unable or whatever will not clearly make the distinction between the bullies behavior and the victims behavior. In that adults eyes both are at fault in some justified way. This gives the bully a green flag with a pat on the wrist. The victim is given blame with the idea that it takes two to tango type of thingy, and is also scolded. Of Course if the bullies parent intervenes in a bully situation then their kid is rewarded in a host of ways, and where the victim suffers at the hand of two bullies.

The victim is left without getting the justice he is suppose to get. Instead, he is told or shown in a passive way from an adult his behavior is part of the problem. The bully sees this and is another reinforcement of his behavior toward others.

Parents who are keen to dealing with bully behavior will do the opposite and not doling out blame. They will not say to the victim why did you instigate the situation and cause the situation, that otherwise would have not existed. They will read the situation better and i.d. the bully and then scold him. But that takes time, and effort from adults who are often unwilling to learn how to diffuse bullies or are willing to support them. Now add the thing that the world reward bullies and you have one heck of a mountain to face.

I think, though it isn't a part of Aikido, that those who teach Aikido to kids learn professional anti-bully techniques teaching kids not to bully. That is if bullies join an Aikido class, which we all know it is the victims of bullies that join Aikido classes, bullies go else where. All 'n all it falls on the parents shoulders to teach their kids not to be bullies. Kids that are bullies usually have parents that support or are bullies, and will not change their kids behavior.

And the ironic solution than is not to become a target of victim of a bully. That means parent of these kids if they are not proactive need to be. Hence the high number of kids in martial arts as parents use martial arts as a crutch as a solution to the bullying of their kids or prevention. A very ineffective ironic band-aid imo to teach your kid to fight violence with violence by some one who teaches violence. What we need is...well that will never happen...well the reward for violence is too strong.

Last edited by Buck : 01-20-2009 at 08:33 AM.
  Reply With Quote