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Old 01-18-2009, 08:55 PM   #134
dematteo84's Avatar
Dojo: Brisbane Yoshinkan
Location: Brisbane Queensland
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 8
Re: Falling in love with Sensei

Reading a few of the above posts has made me realise that the situation I am in is more normal than I previously believed. I may not be in love with my Sensei but I have similar feelings towards a more senior ranked student at my dojo.

I felt bad about the situation at first, like I had committed a crime. It was as if I purposely fell in love with the girl and felt guilty for committing such an offence. Later I came to realise that there was nothing I could have done to prevent the feelings from emerging. Why do we fall in love with someone?
Do any of us really know? We don't wake up in the morning and say to ourselves I will fall in love with this person.

The hardest thing is falling in love with a person that may in a certain context not be appropriate to fall in love with. We shouldn't feel guilty about this but rather find a way to deal with it. I admit that I don't know how to deal with love, I am a shy and quiet person, so I find it hard to talk to people at the best of times, let alone when feelings are involved.

One positive that has come out of my situation is a new found respect for people in similar situations. I also have a new understanding of poetry, music and art. It is amazing how much of what I feel has already been expressed by others in my situation.

On a more humorous note, I replied to a similar post earlier and didn't realise I was logged in before I sent the reply. As a result a reply that was meant to be anonymous was posted with my name and location, plus the dojo I train at. Although I didn't give the girl a name on the post, it would be obvious to anyone from my dojo who I was talking about. Ooops!

I have found that talking about and acknowledging my situation has helped a great deal, and the more I understand it the easier it gets. It is still damn hard none the less.

Do what you feel is right and don't feel bad if things don't go to plan, that is all I can say.
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