Thread: Bullying
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Old 01-08-2009, 02:37 PM   #12
BobGorman
 
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Location: Nashua, NH
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Re: Bullying

Jacqueline,
Quote:
Jacqueline von Arb wrote: View Post
So one day, it dawned on me... I said come here, lets practice some aikido. We stood facing each other in the living room:
- Words are like an attack, I said, and so what do we do when an attack is coming?
- Step out of the line
- That's right, so now as the words come, step aside, turn around as they reach your body and imagine the words fly by and hit the wall in the back.
Thank you, this is so helpful. I'm a visual learner and get easily confused when I can't see or make a picture of what's going on. That's why I like "Aikido and the Dynamic Sphere" by R. Westbrook and O. Ratti Illustrations by O. Att. In the illustrations he clearly marks the flow of energy, which one can't normally see, with visible arrows.

For verbal self-defense, my weakest area, there are no good images, & metaphors & books. Your example here enables me to clearly visualize it.

Quote:
Jacqueline von Arb wrote: View Post
OK, I said after a while, now that you're facing the same direction as the "bully", how do you think the bully is feeling when he does this, why is he doing this? I asked.
He thought about it for a while, and said, "Man, so-and-so's really small inside and thinks he'll feel bigger and better by picking on me... poor guy".
The fear and the hurt slowly turned into pity and understanding.
That's an amazing next step for a youngster to learn so early. We can do more that just avoid getting hurt. Indeed, I believe, understanding is necessary to make progress in human relationships possible.
Your son is indeed blessed to have you for a mom.

Bob
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