George S. Ledyard
Fear is a very complex issue for a practitioner. Often it has nothing to do with fear of the physical pain or injury possible in training. ...
I have another friend who is a wonderful Aikidoka. She is absolutely fearless on the mat in terms of ukemi and has no back off about anything you throw at her. Yet she is terrified of hitting someone else. Her back off about putting out a strong Yang energy creates a balance problem in her practice. Where does fear like that come from in one who is actually quite courageous in facing danger when it is herself at risk?
Larry's point about the only other option with fear being non-attachment is true. But aikido is emphatically not about non-attachment. When the Founder said "true budo is love" -- that is the answer -- complete connection -- the opposite of detachment.
For your friend, love does not mean not wanting to hit people. Anyone who does think that has never had kids. Loving instruction -- it is only loving instruction -- Please tell her that.