Thread: How to Say No
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Old 12-30-2008, 12:28 AM   #40
Walter Martindale
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Location: Cambridge, ON
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Re: How to Say No

I liked the elbow in the eye thing - Oh, Sorry - Are you OK?
However - I think that if you can find a way to completely shun this joker you'll be better off.

don't look at him, don't answer him, don't practice with him, don't acknowledge his presence - if it's possible - I guess it depends on the number of ppl in the dojo.

In a small dojo it's hard to avoid contact with an unsavory person. I guess if there's no other dojo in the area to which you can flee, you'll need to be patient and wait for the year to pass so that you can shift to your next posting and try another dojo.

What he's doing IS harassment. Whether you choose to call it that or not. However, the person being harassed is the one who's responsible for filing a report to whomever they get filed. If you don't initiate some kind of formal complaint, it doesn't really exist.

Quietly: "Stop asking, or I will hand Sensei the original of this letter." In the letter, you document the dates, times and frequency of the queries that you are refusing and the fact that your "no" isn't working, you're getting very tired of it, and you want the sensei to take some action to get this person to stop. If you don't do this, he'll continue. If the dojo won't do anything, offer (first the sensei, and then the offender) that you'll gladly send a copy of this letter to the man's wife if no action is taken, but really, you'd like to have all of this resolved without having to do anything drastic.
Walter
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