Thread: How to Say No
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Old 12-21-2008, 06:02 AM   #26
IP Hash: 78c13ef1
Anonymous User
Re: How to Say No

Janet Rosen wrote: View Post
I knew something was really troubling me about this whole thing and this really nails is for me. I've visited, and some yrs ago very briefly trained at, a dojo with a pretty strict no talking during practice rule. But I never felt like I was gonna be disciplined or in trouble, sheesh....
Its weird enough that the rule is invoked so that the person being spoken to is guilty for any response (talk about blaming the victim!) but I have to say that the very notion of a grown up getting "in trouble" smacks to me of a very unhealthy dojo environment. Clearly YMMV and you are choosing to train there, but this is just plain strange to me.
Boy, don't get me started. There's a lot about this dojo that's way over the top compared to other places I have trained. Our situation is that we move every one to two years because of job transfers. After about the third move, I figured out I have to quit comparing each dojo to the perfect utopian dojo I've created in my mind, that probably doesn't exist anywhere anyway. I've tried to focus on just adapting to each new situation and trying to get the most out of training there.

I don't really know what "getting in trouble" at this dojo involves. Probably just a talk with the dojocho or something. But there is significant tension around all of the rules here. And the rules seem pretty absolute. I've only been here about 6 months, so I guess I could be misinterpreting a lot. I haven't had a lot of chance to connect with any of the other students, so I haven't had a good way to ask if my interpretations are correct.

On the plus side, even if I can't find a way to resolve this situation, we'll be moving in another year or so anyway.
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