Re: How to Say No
quote....Mark, Janet and others: Thank-you for you advice as well. I can see that you are trying to get me to see the problem differently, which I was entirely unprepared for. If I am a victim, I don't feel like one. I still think I have failed to describe the culture of this particular dojo well enough to convey that others are just not going to concern themselves in what is seen as *my* problem. And they will be annoyed at me trying involve them......end quote
This is SO unbelievably impersonal.
If the persistant-one is asking "soto-voice" on the mat during keiko, then a very soft, VERY direct no (preferably as nikyo is holding his attention) might make sure he gets the point.
Emphasise that you don't want to have to address this again
(before you release the nikyo).
for what it is worth, I hope he gets the point before things actually grow uglier.